After celebrating the success of his previous three/one movie deal – where he plays an overconfident loser that is inexplicably popular and good at what he does, Will Ferrell has failed to shock his fans by deciding to play the exact same character over again.
“It’s actually going to be quite a departure from my previous films!” states Ferrell, who has obviously never seen his previous films. “I’m actually looking forward to expanding my range and maybe start doing some serious roles, like Tom Hanks after he did “The ‘burbs!”
Tom Hanks refused to comment on his name being uttered by Will Ferrell, and instead twisted his face in disgust before driving away.
Ferrell has already begun work on the three movies, recycling techniques he’s used in previous films by recycling sets and actors from previous films. The first of the three movies is titled The Jockey, where he plays an overweight, overconfident horse jockey that has somehow worked his way up to the top of his field.
“I’m the best jockey in the WORLD!” screams Ferrell in an early teaser of the movie, before predictably falling off his horse into a pile of excrement. “NOBODY is better than me!”
The scene continues for another three minutes with Ferrell slowly ripping his clothes off while running around in a circle, screaming and flailing wildly. The scene ended with the projectionist groaning and fast forwarding the film.
Ferrell promises that the second film, “The Violinist”, will treat people to his more serious side. In the film, Ferrell plays an overweight, overconfident violin player who has somehow worked his way up to the top of his field.
“I’m the best violin player in the WORLD!” screams Ferrell in an early teaser for the movie, before predictably falling off the stage into a pile of excrement. “NOBODY is better than me!”
The scene continues for another three minutes while Ferrell plays the violin like a guitar, and ended when the projectionist ripped the film out of the projector and threw it out the window.
Ferrell’s third film, The Ballerina, has been plagued with a number of problems that impede its completion – the biggest occurring when the unfinished screenplay had a sudden burst of conscience before forming itself into a noose and strangling the writer for the good of humanity.
“I don’t get all these people hating on what I do,” says Ferrell, his voice rising to a plainly unfunny high pitch. “I’m the best comedic actor in the WORLD! NOBODY is better than me!” Ferrell shouted out moments before tumbling out of his seat into a pile of excrement.
The Jockey opens in theaters next week.
I love Will Ferell. But I have to admit that article was hilarious.