Happy Pappy, the host of the top rated children’s show “The Happy Pappy Hour”, was released from his contract early yesterday after he reportedly exposed himself in the shower of his Beverly Hills home.
“I didn’t think anyone was home,” explains Shirley Pappy, Happy’s wife of 23 years. “I went in to use the toilet and there he was, behind the shower curtain, exposing himself for the whole entire room to see!”.
Recent reports indicate Happy Pappy merchandise was the leading fuel for bonfires today.
“To think that children’s show hosts are doing things like that in the confines of their own homes sickens me,” bellows out Anne MacGinty, local leader of the Families for Families coalition. “My child will never be able to look at that sick pervert the same way! Everyone in Hell is naked, you know! That should–”
Anne’s comments were cut short as she managed to choke on the Crispy Chicken meal she was plowing through, spitting up fries and bun all over the podium.
Happy Pappy, although available for comment, attempted to communicate through a series of horn honks and kazoo buzzes. He eventually pelted reporters with confetti before escaping down a sewer drain.
The LAPD has issued a warrant for Happy Pappy’s arrest and plan on taking a lengthy series of photos of his penis, along with the penises of other children’s show hosts in order to confirm exactly who was in the shower at the time. The photos will be made available on the LAPD website next Thursday, allowing children to confirm if they’ve even been a victim of indecent exposure by any of the hosts in question.
We all float down here Pappy