You’ve seen the line-ups. You’ve heard the harrowing tales of people being forced to stand on their feet for over three hours at a time. You’ve seen friends and family all succumbing to runny noses and upset stomachs.
Quite frankly, you’ve seen enough.
Now that the government has decided to step in and take the shots away, deciding that people with AIDS, cancer, and one Stanley Cup win are more important than you – we’ve come up with a fast and FREE alternative to breaking into the flu clinics at 3am or buying shady shots from the greasy guy on the corner.
Yes, the world’s FIRST downloadable H1N1 shot is now available – right here on spicybackpain.com!
That’s right, you don’t have to venture outside your house and brave the apocademic that’s sweeping the nation, you can administer the shot right in the comfort of your own home! Modern technology combined with even more modern scientology has produced a method of squeezing viral immunities down your cable line, past Dexter and Weeds, through a wide open field of furry porn and videos of Japanese women fighting in a glue pit, straight into your cable modem, and eventually into your computer.
The only thing needed to administer the shot is a pair of scissors, and possibly a grown up to supervise you. The directions on the printout must be followed EXACTLY, otherwise you risk having to download and print another shot. Bandwidth and printer ink aren’t exactly cheap these days.
The shot is available here: http://www.spicybackpain.com/H1N1_SHEET.pdf, and a handy preview of your flu shot is viewable below. Also, we threw in a little surprise for the high riskers! That’s right, kids! A present!
Remember, do NOT administer a spicybackpain shot that was received anywhere other than spicybackpain.com. Downloading and rehosting a shot can result in pixelation of the vaccine, and there’s no telling what those chunky little cubes will do once you inject them into your system.
Dude, this is the shit! Thanks a lot!
Anything to help out mankind – I’m always thinking!